How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
