Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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