Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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