Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
