and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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