In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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