her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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