OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
