There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
