i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
