Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
