dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
