tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
