its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
