Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize