i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
