She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
