Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
