You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
