So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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