puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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