and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
