No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
