Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
