Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
