yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize