you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
