I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just high enough for therapy.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
