either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
