i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize