Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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