Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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