Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You're like the curious george of whores
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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