she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
