This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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