Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
