I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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