he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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