If you die in college, do you die in real life?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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