I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
