For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
