just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
