I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
my liver is dry heaving
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize