You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I didn't notice because vodka
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
