hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize