Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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