Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish you could order shots online.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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