this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
