I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
