you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
