I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Randomize
