You smell like stripper and shame
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm at about main and main street
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
