I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
