If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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