The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
