then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
