So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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