Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
