sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
