Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
