hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
