My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize