I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
