How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
