He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
