big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
