Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
