thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i think i just lost a toe
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize