break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize