i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
